Does ‘happily ever after’ exist? Hmmm <insert eye roll>. I could name a gazillion couples who publicly exhibit the characteristics of amazing love and seemingly operate within the happily ever after each day. Of course, their personal lives are not shown (unless we’re talking about Rob and Black Chyna), so we can only go off of the feeling we experience when the concept of love we see, connects with our ideals. At any given time throughout my day, I make eye contact with someone, and the genuine connection happens. It’s there. The undeniable moment my heart moves and touches the heart of the person I have encountered. It is at that moment my heart knows whether that person is accepting me or if they are not—that is, the surface of me they see in that instance anyway.
I believe the same connection happens with lovers. During an initial encounter, our hearts tell us if we are physically attracted to each other but what they cannot tell in that moment however, is whether or not we are meeting the ‘Forever Fairytale.’ How we wish it were that easy…how I WISH it were that easy. Unless you are the gross exception to the rule, it is not. A couple of weeks ago, hopeless romantics across the nation were treated to a small peek into the love story captured through the hashtag, #ForeverDuncan. The inspiration behind the tag belongs to couple, Alfred and Sherrell Duncan, who became instant stars after Alfred planned not only a surprise proposal, BUT also their wedding in the same day. Sherrell’s response was a myriad of shock, disbelief, happiness, and of course, a YES! Much to be expected, the spectrum of trolls on the interwebs spanned from, “OMG, that was sooo beautiful! I need a #ForeverDuncan in my life,” to “If he ain’t coming with a #ForeverDuncan kind of love, I ain’t here for it,” and even down to, “Hmmph, it doesn’t take all that! She didn’t even get to plan her own wedding…um, ok #ForeverDuncan.”
Foolishness aside, this couple poured their hearts out for each other during their ceremony and it gave me ALL THE FEELS. All of them. Like, ‘my mama made peach cobbler when I didn’t even ask for it’ feels. The ‘sending in the very last payment on my car note’ feels. Oooh, and that ‘good selfie after losing 10lbs’ feels…again, all of them.
What I appreciated more than anything with this beautiful couple’s story was the truth they spoke during one of the many interviews they granted. Their relationship clearly had some ups and downs and I’m sure withstood some heartache and pain, but one thing was certain, they pushed pass all of those things to find their #ForeverFairytale. It was joyous to see because I believe it exists. The cynical part of me hates that I just uttered those words but it’s true. I do! There is a #ForeverFairytale out there for everyone—we just have to accept the journey to get there. I constantly say relationships are hard, because they are. Some days I can barely pick out clothes that match, eat a nutritious meal, and stay awake at work, much less, be a viable partner to another real live grown person! But yet, when faced with the possibility of being able to say, “it’s MY turn,” I high-tail it into a gob of goobly go-go love goo laced with all the hope, tenderness, tingly feels and awkward excitement known to mankind. Yuck!!! Man, I want that…see what I mean?!
I wish I had a great answer for how to combat the inevitable, but I really don’t want to do so. Instead I will encourage the opposite. Stop looking for perfection and love a little more. Stop thinking change will never come and believe a little more. Stop doubting your instincts to truly connect and trust a little more. Find a reason to say yes. Find YOUR #ForeverFairytale.
Until next time,